Story Submission by Sandwich Boy.
Jul. 5th, 2004

My fellow BeOS users. It is with heavy heart that I bring this news to you. I have found startling evidence as to the true origins of BeOS. Read this carefully, as the proofs are rambling and complicated, while remaining incontrovertibly true.

The NAGAS of India were half-serpent, half-human rulers. Nagas spelled backwards is of course SAGAN. Carl Sagan was an astronomer. ZETA RETICULI is the star system where all of the shape-shifting reptilian aliens who populate earth are from. Except for the few who are from Silicon Valley. Are you starting to see the big picture?

No? Good. Skepticism only bolsters my case. As further evidence, I stumbled across this racist, sexist ANTI-HUMAN website: Zeta Talk. BeOS, long-since considered ALIEN TECHNOLOGY, has its roots in a galaxy far, far away. This is why the aliens are always several steps ahead of we mere humans.

“But wait”, you say, “BeOS roxors my soxors. How can any of this be a bad thing?” But you are so naïve! ZETA is the Greek number six. Yellowtab’s new campaign to bring their version of BeOS, named “Zeta”, to the masses revolves around the catch phrase “Zeta. Zeta! ZETA!!!” In American, this translates to SIX SIX SIX, the fabled number of the beast. I don’t think any more needs to be said on the subject.

In other news Palm, Inc. revealed their new logo:

(Thanks to Reptilian Watch for the supporting research.)

-BeDoper News